FIRST OF ALL - LOVE YOURSELF

Loving-kindness focuses on our feelings of goodwill and kindness toward ourselves and others. Research shows that when we concentrate on compassion for ourselves, it has benefits that include feelings of well-being, relief from physical and mental illness, and more optimal living.

Studies show the many benefits of loving-kindness.

In one study, after only seven weeks of loving-kindness meditation, love, contentment, joy, gratitude, and hope increased. These positive emotions increased mindfulness, decreased symptoms of illness, and helped establish life purpose, and this, of course, led to greater overall satisfaction in life.

In another study of patients with low back pain, loving-kindness meditation decreased migraines and chronic pain as well as decreased anger and psychological distress. Still other research has shown a decrease in depression, as well as, negative symptoms in PTSD sufferers and those with schizophrenia disorders.

So why not try it? It costs nothing and takes very little time. After all, the brain is shaped by our activities. Practicing loving-kindness meditation can help activate and strengthen areas of the brain responsible for empathy & emotional intelligence.

Loving-kindness meditation seems to enhance positive interpersonal attitudes as well as emotions, increases compassion and empathy, and decreases our bias towards others and perhaps one of the most important results is that this concentration on self compassion curbs all that self-criticism we deal with constantly. 

Even for those who want nothing to do with meditation, Loving-kindness meditation is simple and quick—15 minutes—and brings results. 

How to do it:

All you have to do is quiet down, sit in a comfortable position, and focus on your intention as you recite aloud or in the mind traditional phrases that center on your own well-being.  You might even do it as you drift off to sleep at night. It's a ritual that can become a beneficial habit.

May I be filled with loving-kindness.

May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.

May I be well in body and mind.

May I be at ease and happy.

How easy is that? This is self-compassion. This is nurturing our inner child. This is parenting ourseles the best way we can: protecting and loving and wishing the best for ourselves.

Practicing this meditation will eventually increase your sense of loving-kindness. Be patient. Be kind. Be gentle. This is worth the effort because it can open you to infinite possibilities as you create your own loving-kindness phrases. Once you've managed to develop a song sense of loving-kindness in regards to yourself, you can extend your compassionate thoughts to others. 

May you be filled with loving-kindness.

May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.

May you be well in body and mind.

May you be at ease and happy.

Let the image and feelings you have for your friend or benefactor support the meditation. Whether the image or feelings are clear or not doesn't matter really matter since these images are in constant change.  Simply continue to plant the seeds of loving wishes, no matter what arises.

Expressing gratitude to our friends and supporters is fairly easy. The difficult part is loving ourselves first. Haven't we heard it said over and over that in order to love others, we must first love ourselves. Loving kindness is a way to do that.

To find out more, read:

Lovingkindness: the Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzburg.